Tired the same old same old? Do you want to feel better about yourself relative to your peers? What if I told you, that in only a few short weeks you could obtain enough knowledge and experience to take over any conversation imaginable, effectively turning you into the most intelligent person in the room. Yes, it’s just that simple and it can be achieved by going overseas.
Here are five of the best things that a life abroad can deliver:
Perceived superiority over everyone
This is the diamond at the top of the crown, so I’ll keep it simple. The best way to improve your self-confidence, especially when compared to others, is to go out and do something that no one else is doing. Obscurity is the name of the game here people, and a six-month tour through the Baltic states will provide you with that sense of supremacy you’ve long been striving for.
Travel: better than Indie music at giving you an excuse to backhandedly talk down to anyone you know and everyone you’ll ever meet.
You can visit Northern Africa
Let’s face it, at some point during your stay you’re going to be passing close to North Africa. Be it Italy, Spain, France, you can catch a ferry from these places to Morocco or Tunisia. Then you can say you’ve been to Africa! Take photos of you and your friends wandering through sand dunes, post (at least) seventy of what appears to be the same piece of desert. Maybe a few shots of your feet for good measure.
Buy a couple of souvenirs and keep them on your desk at work. Tell people how inspiring they are and then start an obvious twenty-minute diatribe about how life in Northern Africa is so simple compared to your home. Make sure to comment on how they’ll never understand, having never been there themselves.
Correcting your friends’ pronunciation of foreign dishes
You backpacked through India for one weekend. So make sure to remind the table of this fact anytime you go out for Indian food. Your friends wont get annoyed with you for making corrections to their pronunciation, they’ll thank you for sharing your wisdom and saving them from looking foolish the next time.
This same rule applies if you’ve ever been to one of the following countries: Vietnam, Thailand, Brazil, Spain, anywhere in the Middle East, and extra bonus points for adding regional dialects, depending on the origin of the dish.
Implying you speak languages (even if you can’t say much)
How cool is it to say you speak a bit of some obscure language? Estonian, Croatian, Frisian – it doesn’t matter – it’s doubtful anyone will be in a position to call you out. Plus, chicks dig a worldly man, man.
Whenever the topic of languages comes up (or hell, even if it doesn’t) be sure to lead with the standard: “Yeah, I speak a little _____.” If you’re actually asked to say something, a good trick is to ask what they would like to hear. What’s requested doesn’t matter. Feel free to spout of any sort of gibberish, no one will know the difference.
When you’re done, hold your head up high, because you’re smarter than all these turkeys and now they know it.
Now you can start every sentence with, “Yeah, but in …”
No longer do you have to sit idly by while your friends tell a story that you can’t top. Regain your rightful position as the centre of attention with three simple words. The “Yeah, but in …” method is easy, foolproof, and can be used in any social situation.
Here’s an example. Someone starts talking about a topic, let’s say art, simply wait for them to finish and reply with: “Yeah, but in Marrakesh . . .”
People will love hearing what you have to say on every subject imaginable, even if the correlation isn’t entirely apt. Try to utilize the, “Yeah, but in…” template for all the places you’ve ever visited, even if you’ve only passed through briefly or read about it in a magazine.