Thursday Mornings

Okay – so this morning I took my tram to work and the city was a ghost town.

Thursday mornings are rough. Early as early, I’ll often rush out without food, and I’m not quite awake by the time I head to work. I sort of bob along in an unconscious haze, relying on muscle memory to take me where I need to go. But this morning something was off and it snapped me out of this state for the first time in a long time.

As I stepped onto the tram to get to work, I began to notice something unusual as I stared blankly out the window. No commuters, no cars, no one walking down the street. The city of Prague was a ghost town. While it was still early, there was no one in sight.

It took me a few moments to second-guess myself. Was this a dream still? Was I awake? Was I dead? Will I soon be eaten by a pack of flesh-hungry, unwieldy zombies, hell bent on total destruction and desecration until their thirst for brains is satiated?! There were no immediate answers to these questions forthcoming so, against my better judgment, I continued to zoom along and hope that there would be answers for me when I got to work.

And there were – though the explanation was not quite as murderous as I’d anticipated. I was greeted in the lobby by my student and so I said hello. I let her walk in front, since I thought there was still a chance that she could be undead. She was always a clever one, and knowing my penchant for punctuality she could easily bait a zombie trap that would see me show up right on time … then boom! – An easy breakfast of authentic, genuine, 100% Canadian brains.

I began to sweat nervously as we entered the elevator, but breathed a sigh of relief by the time we passed the second floor. She was eating a chocolate bar and anyone worth their weight in zombie knowledge knows full well that zombies hate processed sugars.

I felt it was safe to ask her if the city had in fact undergone some sort of doomsday scenario that I had slept through on account of my heavy bourbon slumber. She explained the situation to me as rationally as a non-zombie would: Since Tuesday and Wednesday were both holidays in the Czech Republic, many workers simply take the rest of the week off and combine this into some sort of July Super Holiday. Hmmm…made sense. Then it dawned on me. Shit. Now I have to work today. I immediately snapped out of my Thursday morning daze like falling through the ice of a frozen pond with electrodes tied to my pills. I fed some coins into the coffee machine and got started.

It’s a good thing Sleeping Beauty woke up.

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