This past Wednesday, President Obama met with Chinese President Hu Jintao in the White House to discuss the future of the relationship between the two nations. While most pundits considered the visit a success, things took an awkward turn during a press conference when, through his translator, Jintao insisted that for the duration of his reign as President, the Chinese State Council will be referred to as the Hu-Tang Clan. Worse, when discussing international security threats, the Chinese President openly proclaimed that China “aint nothing to fuck with”, going so far as to state outright that China would triumph over any intimidation due to their willingness to “bomb atomically” from the outset. Let us pray that this trend does not catch on in Washington, and we are spared the emergence of an Ol’ Dirty Biden.
Things got even stranger during a later meeting, when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pressed Jintao over China’s abysmal human rights record. Jintao promptly responded that, much like the US, China is well within its rights to use advanced interrogation techniques for reasons of national security, and reserve their right to lay a terror suspect’s nuts on the dresser, just their nuts, and bang them shits with a spiked bat. Blaow!
While this was an odd turn of events indeed, it is important to distinguish this new Hu-Tang Clan with the already well-known Hugh’s Tang Clan, which is, of course, the pet name Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner uses for his collection of young girlfriends.