The Graduate

When evil lurks in the night – and things appear to be hopeless – one man – with one mission – and one goal – will clean up the sidewalks and back alleyways of this fair metropolis. That man is…The Graduate.

With a recession still looming and job prospects for graduating students dwindling, one recent graduate has decided to use his spare time to fight crime for a living. Uninhibited by student loans, and unflinching in the face of danger, he combs the streets of his city looking to cram villains into prison cells like chapter summaries into his brain the night before a final.

With no super powers and no formal combat training, this vigilante of justice – cloaked only in a flowing, jet-black graduation gown and self-constructed utility mortarboard – fights crime night and day thanks to a lack of other career opportunities.

Nobody knows his identity. But everybody knows his mark. He is – The Graduate.

Coming soon: A special crossover edition with Nunchuck lawyer. Yes, your favorite crime-fighting lawyer – who utilizes his patented nunchuck defence every chance he gets – will soon be teaming up with The Graduate in an attempt to fight crime and perhaps convince The Graduate to consider law school as an option.

This entry was posted in December and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Graduate

  1. joblessgrad says:

    Welcome to the 21st century economy. We’ve made progress since we last met in the 20th century. Not.

    On a positive note, Wall Street salaries were up in 2011, although their bonuses were down. We regret their multi-million dollar bonuses have suffered this year.

    As an aside, an increasing number of college graduates are progressing directly into unemployment, bypassing employment altogether. Lazy fucks.

    Me? Having graduated once at the height of the Great DeprRecession (Dec. 2008), and again in 2011 to the same recession that continues to linger, I have changed my outlook on life altogether.

    For starters, I spend my days vegetating on the floor with my laptop on my chest. I don’t know why I choose the floor, but it compliments my lack of success.

    Second, I’ve let go of professional ambition – I’ll even wipe your floor with a toothbrush for a meal. As you can see, my self-respect is gone. This is good – I won’t need any self-respect where I’m headed.

    Third, I no longer think about academic achievement – my 3.93 physics GPA, or my 3.88 engineering GPA. Unless by “academic” you mean lingering on the floor. Then I am very academic.

    Rock on. On the floor that is.

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